Tranny

First post of 2013!

Sorry I haven't updated in a while.  Things have been crazy at work.  Like, office politics from hell, complete with lawyers and shit.  I haven't been caught in the crossfire yet, so keep your fingers crossed.

As you know, I've become friends with Shayrah, Daniel (a.k.a. The Barking Atheist), and David from Dogma Debate.  I was on a couple of their shows last year and Shayrah and I are planning a future episode this year about being sex-positive in a sex-shaming society.  Once I have some more details I'll fill you in.

We got on the topic of the whole Laci Green "Tranny" fiasco and I was completely blown away by the behavior of my community. Even after admitting her mistake, apologizing, and removing the offensive video, people sent pictures of her apartment with death threats.  Death threats!  Come on, folks, this is not helping our cause.  When someone apologizes you accept their apology and move on.  So let's talk about "tranny".  There is a lot of confusion, anger, and resentment about this word and I'm surprised I haven't addressed it already.

Like nearly all trans women, I have a complicated relationship with the word.  I have both used it and been offended by it and it all comes down to context.  To put it very simply, it's our word.  "Tranny" was practically invented by the porn industry to describe "chick with dick" fantasies.  Tranny porn is about as accurate a depiction of trans women sex as "girl-on-girl" porn is for lesbians.  It turns trans women into an exotic fetish rather than human beings, and spreads false information about our sexuality, our partners, and our bodies.  So you can see why trans women like me have a problem with words like "tranny", "she-male", "he-she", "dickgirl", or "chicks with dicks".  It degrades us and makes us objects, which makes it easier for others to assault us.

That's why a cis person using the word brings back a lot of negative feelings.  Especially when that cis person gets defensive.  I don't know what makes this word so unique, because I've yet to see anyone try to fiercely defend using the N-Word or "Faggot", and yet I've heard it all when it comes to "tranny".

"It's okay, I have trans friends."
"My friend uses it all the time, and she's a tranny."
"I can use tranny, I'm gay."

Whatever.  Unless you are trans, I'm not okay with you using the word.  You can't call someone a "hot tranny mess".  You can't say someone looks like a "tranny".  It's not funny.  It's hurtful.  It's just that simple.  Some trans women take issue with trans men using the word because it wasn't used against them.  I personally don't, but thought I would mention it.  I'm okay with any trans people using it.

I'm not really sure why this is still an issue, to be perfectly honest.  Once you find out a word is a pejorative, you apologize and stop using it.  Any other response is just attempting to abuse privilege against someone else.  Are we done now?  Oh, and before I forget, if someone uses a pejorative against you and later apologize, don't send them a death threat.  In fact, even if they refuse to apologize, don't send them a death threat.  Seriously.